I throw my hands up in the air
Jul 27th, 2007 by Beverly
9 How can a young man keep his way pure?
By living according to your word.
10 I seek you with all my heart;
do not let me stray from your commands.
11 I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.
12 Praise be to you, O LORD;
teach me your decrees (Psalm 119:9-12).
There has been an exodus…or at least a threatened exodus.
Lately, I have been questioning myself a lot. I’m not doubting my faith, that has a very, very firm foundation. No, I’ve been looking at how I live out that faith and trying to see myself through God’s eyes. It’s not an easy task and many times it simply leaves me with more questions.
I have felt called to do and be within the church lately. I have felt led. However, I have recently begun to face some opposition and that distresses me. It makes me look at what I’m doing to see if I’m doing God’s will or Bev’s will in God’s name.
I should explain that some of my ideas are “radical” to my church. I have introduced a more contemporary worship style and music.
And I throw my hands up in the air
Here’s my heart ’cause I don’t care-
What they say about me, I gotta praise
I throw my hands up in the air
‘Cause I know that You will find me there
Find me when I praise (”When I Praise”, FFH).
I make adventurous plans, such as a congregation-wide in-church retreat. I show non-Christian films so we can better understand our culture and how to use the pervasive media to start a conversation and spread the Good News. And I spout bold statements about how we need to reconnect to God and be excited to be in ministry for Him.
I believe everything I’ve just said, but I need to make sure that God is as pleased with what I’m doing for Him as I am pleased in doing it for Him.
There has been an exodus. People are unhappy. People have complaints. I do not think this is solely because of me in case anyone thinks my ego is that big. 
But, I seriously have to look and make sure I haven’t done things too radically. I need to make sure that in my rush to do something new, I didn’t leave the old, old story out of it. I don’t believe I did, but that’s not good enough right now. I need to know that I’m listening to God and not myself or others.
It’s really easy to get confused with all the voices – some with praise and some with complaints – but I am His and I know my Master’s voice. I just need to make sure I’m listening for it.
Father God, we are thankful for all the blessings You have put before us today. I am grateful that You have given me a reminder and an opportunity to refocus on You in all things. Father God, we are so very thankful for Your grace and mercy that allows us second chances, that allows us to find Your path again when we go astray. I come before You today with a heavy heart that has been weighed down by the disagreements abundant in Your Church. I ask for the gift of discernment as we look over our actions and those of others. So, instead of becoming part of the problem, we can act as Your disciples, spreading Your love and not animosity. I ask for Your guidance for all of us, Father, that we recognize Your voice in the midst of chaos. All these things I ask in the name of Your Son, Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.
You know I’m gonna leave a comment right…
Secondly any inspiration…IS GOD. Listen to yourself…that’s the only way to her God.
First of all you can never dissapoint God in anything you do…he’s God he’s a bit further up the evolutionary chain and doesn’t bother much with the limited human emotions that comsume us
I’ve been wanting to comment all day, but after I write something it doesn’t feel right so I delete it. This is actually my fifth attempt. The bottom line is that being called to lead is scary (just as Nehemiah). Being called to lead a people in a direction they may not want to go is daunting (just ask Moses). There are words I’ve contemplated all day with respect to your situation. In the end, these are better words than mine.
God, my God, I cry out
Your beloved needs You now
God, be near, calm my fear
And take my doubt
Your kindness is what pulls me up
Your love is all that draws me in
I will lift my eyes to the Maker
Of the mountains I can’t climb
I will lift my eyes to the Calmer
Of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the Healer
Of the hurt I hold inside
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You
God, my God, let Mercy sing
Her melody over me
God, right here all I bring
Is all of me
Cause You are and You were and You will be forever
The Lover I need to save me
Cause You fashioned the earth and You hold it together, God
So hold me now
(borrowed from a friend.)
*hugs Morgan* I don’t know, I’m pretty sure I’ve been inspired to do some things in my life that were decidedly NOT Godly. LOL I hope I’m wiser now. Thank you for your confidence in me, hon
Jeff, I started reading your comment and wondered who the cool person quoting Bebo to me was…I scrolled back up and realized I should have known. I hear your encouragement and I thank you for it.
Bev you are a dear and I just love your stance for the Lord. What I can tell you is continue to make a bold stand for truth. However, in whatever way you are led of the Spirit, do it with all your heart and soul
*Go! Go! Go! Fight! Fight! Fight!*
Bev, I have no wise words for you. I wish I did. Everything I want to say sounds so trite. I guess I just have to echo Hannah’s statement. I have the liberty of not being high enough in our church hierarchy (in other words not part of the decision makers at all)
so I don’t have to worry about it. However, occasionally, I make a point of being a sqeaky wheel. I do this just often enough to know the frustration of people that don’t like change. Just keep at it, hon. God is trying to reach those that have been turned away from the church. And I’ve found this one thing to be true. The things that are the least pleasant to hear or experience are often the things that are best for us. In terms of the congregation, it could be that those that are complaining, don’t like not being able to sit complacently in church and then go home, each week. They perhaps don’t want their routine disrupted. Just keep praying and seeking the Lord’s leading, and you can be sure that He WILL lead you. (I guess I had more to say than I originally thought.) 
*hugs you* I’ll keep praying for you and for your church.
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